we have been home now for a month. it seems longer--it's hard already to remember the feel of daily life in new england. this month has been full of ideas: for life with this new baby; on place and where we belong; on parenting noah, and how to help him grow and learn; on vocation and what we might both like to do; on study, and where and what might be good fits for aaron; on how to stay connected to friends and family when we feel so scattered and far; on childbirth, health and healing. we haven't
done much in this month, but we certainly have
thought much.
we've also reflected on our few months away, which were a real blessing for me in particular. i remembered how important it is for me to be part of a close community of friends, and i learned that it is also important for noah too. he had such a wonderful time with benny, eli, jude, asher, henry, jasper and avry, and he seemed lost all alone in this house when we came home. he needs more than i can give him, and i need more than he can give me. and that's not unnatural, is it? now we just need to figure out how to accomplish a more communal life that also retains healthy spacial and emotional boundaries. any ideas?
(we have set in motion a weekly dinner with maryka, kevin and their housemates dorothy and lilly. this has been lovely. tonight involved mexican lasagne, banana "love" and impromptu banjo strumming. noah loved it.)
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i've been referring to this teeny tiny baby in my belly as "chickpea," which seemed to me a similar size item. but i just read that at eleven weeks, this baby is almost two inches long and weighs 1/4 of an ounce. so i guess we need a bigger reference object. maybe an avocado pit? not nearly as cute.
and look at its feet! tiny beautiful perfect feet. already there inside me. just waiting to grow and strengthen and run after noah.
it's hard to remember i'm pregnant, sometimes. i don't feel it much yet except for the nausea. and i'm so distracted by noah... which is great, because he is unbelievably fun right now. but i remember when noah was on the inside, i spent a lot of energy and thought connecting with him as he grew and moved inside me. i guess that intense connection is the lot of the firstborn baby, and i know that christina would say all that attention is both a blessing and a curse. i would like to learn how to be moderate with both these children, but also to lavish them with love.
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noah is a busy little guy. aaron and i were just saying that we think his age right now is the funnest it's been so far. in particular i'm really enjoying his newfound attention span for reading. the other day we read a "madeline" book the whole way through! and he likes to help in the kitchen and with the laundry, which is fun. sometimes his "organizational methods," however, aren't very similar to mine. (like taking the magazines out of the rack and spreading them around the floor.)
he's still communicating really well with signs, but has recently also added some words into the mix. he now says: mama, daddy, mailman, barbara (our landlady), nina (our landlady's cat), grandma, tractor, bus, dump-it (dump truck), hot, ball, yummy, etc. he also pats and kisses the baby in my belly. his little voice is so cute and enthusiastic. he was so excited today to go outside and point at barbara's car and say "barbara" and then point at our car and say "mama." what a genius.
other current noah favorite things include: pistachios, shoes, closing doors, cozy blankets, ice cream (and all treat-type items), trains, mailmen, pacifiers, books, baths, snow, wagon rides, throwing things, cucumbers, hanging out with grandma and grandpa, syrup, scratching me and aaron so we laugh, kiwi, oranges, grapefruit, looking out windows, eating at his little table, dancing, chasing and being chased, and driving around in aaron's truck. current non-favorites include: diaper changes, clothing changes, face and hand wipes, hair washes, haircuts, bike helmets, oatmeal, mama trying to do anything business-like, rides you pay 25 cents for at the supermarket, and daddy leaving for work. he's a pretty straightforward little kid.
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aaron's main journey right now is an attempt to narrow down his interests and options into the best path for his (and our family's) future. he was also inspired by our east coast journey, in particular through conversation, one of his favorite things. he loves talking about possibilities, and if you know him you know that often those ethereal conversations lead to real-life ideas. he's got lots. now his job is to whittle them down to the best and pursue those. he's considering graduate programs in Public History, Preservation Studies and/or Architecture. he is good at so many things and interested in nearly everything... so finding the right path for himself is hard work.
until the next step is clear, he's enjoying life at the boatyard, where he's still doing fancy things i don't understand. he's also bossing people around a bit (a new year's promotion), which he doesn't like but i think is good for him. he's determined to sneak more power on choosing our netflix dvds (think more warner herzog, less gilmore girls), but he'll have to crack my codes to get into our account. he's also teaching noah some unsavory tricks, like blowing rice through a straw and hammering things. sketchy. he's into ken burns' new documentary "
the war" and he's reading kiran desai's "
the inheritance of loss." he's also been listening to the black eyed peas' song "where is the love" on a daily basis. don't tell him i told you.
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i've been enjoying the results of my new year's resolution to call people more. i've realized laughing with people on the phone can be really therapeutic. so give me a call, you long lost friends and family! if you're lucky, i'll put noah on to tell you that a lion says "baaa."
i'm also working on my application for the doula training class at the
seattle midwifery school. i know i've been talking about this for a long time, but i'm really going to do it this spring. it feels great to have this to look forward to and work toward. right now i'm feeling more excited about the postpartum doula training than the labor support training, which may be because i really enjoyed being with jennye and andrew in the days following esme's birth. i just ordered the book "
nurturing the family: the guide for postpartum doulas" and i'm excited to read it. right now i've been enjoying "
making babies: the science of pregnancy."
i just went with some friends to a showing of the movie, "
the business of being born," a documentary about the hospital childbirth industry in the US. it was really eye-opening. there was also lots of beautiful homebirth footage. of course i couldn't keep my eyes dry. it was inspiring, though, and gave me hope that this next baby can come into the world more naturally. more on that later.
i've also been working on a mix cd called
the happy new year mix, with a real focus on the
happy. i want to be surrounded by hope and good cheer. we have been rocking out to it in the car, and it's definitely doing something good. (of course "where is the love" features prominantly.) let me know if you want a copy!
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so this is us, for now. what about you? let's be in touch.
