blessing

a few nights ago, my friend andrea came over to bless us. she's a priest, so she can do this in a pretty official capacity. i'd had it in my mind that she was coming over to bless little isla, and to sacramentally mark her entry into the world by anointing her with holy oil. which andrea did, and which was lovely. but only when andrea began to pray for and anoint the rest of us did i realize that probably we are the ones who needed that sacrament even more than isla.

we've had a week of ups and downs, of the deepest felt love and the strangest sadness. noah is confused and seems angry with me, and sometimes rough with isla. i am post-partum, hormones racing through my body making me think i can't adequately mother these two little ones. and physically i am sore and tired, with even sitting still requiring effort. aaron is his usual strong and supportive self, but he can only do so much. and he is on his own search for fullness, in his work and his creative life. isla is calm and lovely, but she too is figuring out how to be a person in the world. we are all in a strange new place.

which made andrea's prayers--for strength, for peace, for patience and healing--all the more apt, for all of us. and i felt the touch of her fingers on my forehead, tracing the sign of the cross in holy oil, as a powerful seal--sealing me to these other fragile members of my family, sealing my bursting heart, sealing my bleeding wounds, sealing us all to christ.

and we all fell asleep smelling sweet and strong.